IN MEMORY: McIntosh Polela after speaking about his book ‘My father. My Monster’ in Cape Town. Picture: RUSANA PHILANDER
Every time the spokesperson of the Hawks, McIntosh Polela, speaks about his new book, it is a form of counselling to him.
Polela who recently launched his new book titled: “My father. My monster” that deals about the abuse he had to suffer at the hands of his father.
The Hawks spokesperson shared his tragic past and what inspired him to write his book with an audience at the Centre for the Book on Tuesday evening.
An extract from his book reads as follow: “Every Sunday after that I went to the confession box. I looked at Father Sebastian through the holes in the partition, and told him stories.
Sometimes tears poured down my face as I related the latest instalment of abuse. Each time, he promised to pray for me. He told me the Lord would forgive my sins. Each Sunday, I hoped he would ask me to wait for him outside the confession box and tell me to relate my stories.
I hoped he would pay attention and help me. It was months before I realised that he hadn’t understood a word I was trying to say. I was shattered. I began to pray for a miracle. I prayed that one day I would be delivered from this hell to a place where my sister and I could be kids again. Where there were people who loved and cared for us. I prayed that the two of us could have time together, just the two of us.”
Polela said: “This book is also about confronting my past and trying to find closure. It has also been very hard for me to write the book because I wrote six drafts. Many times I broke down because I had to face my pain and relive the trauma. It was very difficult to go back to the age of being five again. Writing the book was also very difficult because I kept asking God: “How did I get past this? Why am I still alive?”
I really did not think that I was going to live past the age of 20. “But these book sessions also assists me to get closure. In terms of forgiveness, I think that it is a very personal thing because everyone does it in their own way,” said Polela. – firstname.lastname@example.org